Nightmare land

I stood in our room, tears fighting to release from their dungeon. I watched as you threw all of your things in a suitcase you swore you’d “bring back” to my father. Words bubbled in my throat, only to suicide on the floor as I opened my mouth. We had been so happy for the last three years…and suddenly you chose to go.

“You aren’t the same person as before,” you answered my unspoken thoughts. “you parade around like everything is okay, and when you come home we don’t talk. You just hide in our room under the covers.”

I want to tell you I’m sorry, that I’m trying to get better, but the words don’t come out. I finally free the tears as I watch all of our future plans fade into smoke. You turn to me and I can read all of your thoughts like a book, “I need someone stronger” “you stress too much for me” “I can never seem to make you happy”. I want to tell you you’re wrong, that after a day full of grey clouds you are my sunlight, but I can’t.

As you grab your well packed items, my heart shatters. This is really it, isn’t it. The day I have always dreaded, the day I become a memory. My tears flow at such an alarming rate, I’m sure any moment I will drown, but I can’t bring myself to say anything. I can’t beg you to stay, I can’t promise to get better. How can I get better when my sunrise is leaving, dooming me into a world full of grey skies and personal demons.

“You promised to stay…” I selfishly choke out. There I go again, playing the victim. In a calm voice you look at me and say “you promised to try,” before walking out the door.

I crash into the bed, now empty as I hear your car start, knowing now is the time to run after you. To say all the thoughts that were building a dam in my throat. My body refuses to move, but you don’t. I hear you pull out of the driveway for the final time. The tears have stopped flowing, almost to say that they are going with you. Why would they stay with a monster?

After a year I am feeling a slight bit better, and I return to my every day Life. Work in the morning, attending my son’s events at school, only to return home to my very lonely empty bed. It’s a never ending cycle. A monster can’t love, and it will never truly be happy.

My heart races at the thought of you, then breaks knowing I drove you away. I can’t help but feel like I’m in a never ending nightmare, until I hear your voice, I see your smile, and I feel your warm embrace. I don’t want to tell you about the events in the nightmare, I don’t want to hear promises that can’t honestly be kept. I turn to your side of the bed and hope to keep you there for just a little while longer.

Baa Baa, Black Sheep -SoCS

We see you, sowing fear as if it were as easy as breathing. You tell us that this is for the best, hoping that we all become sheep and follow you blindly. You have forgotten one minor detail, in every group of snow white sheep, there is a black sheep. That black sheep will go against everything you preach, slowly dyeing the snow white wool of your followers to a shimmering silver. This is the power bestowed upon the black sheep, this is our mission.

Your anger flares, and while the white sheep crowd around you, polishing your crown, the black and silver sheep plot. We have no interest in conforming, we see your wrong. While the white remain silent, our bleats ring out as you speak. The only way to silence us is to sew shut the mouths that have the power to bring you down. We will not be silenced, despite the burn of your needles. You sheer my wool, leaving me silenced and exposed. You use me as a lesson before casting me away.

I watch as so many of my fellow rebels lose their shimmering silver glow, and once again I am alone. I flee in the night, faint bleat meeting the silencing powers of your thread. Fear will not consume me, despite what you fill the others with. You can turn me against my family, but I will remain fearless.

I am met with fellow black sheep, and they cut the thread that you carelessly sewed. My voice rings out once more, joined by other unwavering bleats from strong black sheep like myself. We are coming for you, so you better prepare. You will reap what you have sown.

This post is a part of SoCS

Today’s prompt: so/sew/sow 

Opposites Attract

You were strong,
Nothing seemed to break you.
I was weak,
Bending to the blowing wind.

You were brave,
Facing danger with a smile.
I was frightened,
Shuddering with every step.

You found light,
In the darkest of places.
In a room full of light,
I was stuck in the shadows.

We were different,
In every possible way.
Yet you found something in me,
That I thought never existed.

You came to me,
With that smile across your lips.
I couldn’t understand your intentions,
Until you held me.

We are black and white,
Different in every way.
With each other at our sides,
We see with a new vision.

Color dances through our world,
Music plays from deep within.
We dance in slow motion,
As the world rushes by.

Our differences are not to be feared,
Together we will become one.
Your smile driving my fears away,
And my kisses bringing you to your knees.